After a wonderful Mother’s Day with
my family, I was thinking about the amazing gift I have been given to be a
mother. We weren’t always sure I would
be able to have children, and it did take some work to be able to get pregnant
with Addy. I remember the night I took
that test. The line was SO faint, and I
kept staring at it to make sure it was real.
I remember keeping it on the sink and checking on it over and over just
to make sure that second line didn’t disappear!
I remember telling Ben that he was going to be a daddy, and the look on
his face was priceless! He was SO
excited! We were overjoyed and terrified
all at the same time.
My pregnancy with Addy was pretty
easy until the very end when I ended up having some preterm labor and giving birth about 4 weeks early. I remember holding her in my arms for the
first time and being shocked at how absolutely gorgeous she was! I mean, I really don’t think I had ever seen
a more beautiful baby in my life! Then
they told us that they needed to take her away because she was having some
trouble breathing. When they took her from
my arms, it sort of felt like my heart was being pulled out of my chest. She ended up in the NICU for about 10 days,
and those were some of the hardest days of my life. It was so horrible to leave this child who
had literally been a part of my body for the last 9 months in a hospital
separated from me each night. The day we
finally got to bring her home, I thought I would never be able to put her
down! Now I look at this nearly
three-year-old girl who is so tall and smart and has insanely curly hair and
the most beautiful hazel eyes, and I still sometimes can’t believe that WE made
her. That God gave her to US to raise. Simply amazing!
Then along came my sweet little
boy. Hunter took a very long time to conceive,
and we were to the point that we thought we might need fertility medication. But God stepped in and blessed us with
another sweet blessing! It was the most
incredible feeling to want something for SUCH a long time and to finally get
it. We were thrilled, and this time, I
just knew we were having a boy…I felt it in my soul! I even bought some boys clothes before we had
even had our ultrasound. Ironically,
that ultrasound showed that we were having another little girl! Though I was really excited that Addy would
have a sister, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that they were wrong. So a few months later, we had another
ultrasound, and sure enough, they found that we were, in fact, having a boy! I think Ben was more excited than anyone to
have a little hunting buddy.
My pregnancy with Hunter was much
more difficult, and I was on bed rest off and on from about 27 weeks. In fact, at one point, I was transferred to a
bigger hospital because they thought he was coming at 35 weeks. He ended up staying put until 39 weeks, and I
had to have a c-section because he was just so big. 9lbs. and 6 oz. to be precise! It was so amazing to have a full-term baby
that never had to leave my side after he was born. I remember lying in my hospital bed holding him
and thinking that I just wanted to snuggle him and rub his chubby little cheeks
and smell his little head for as long as I could because I knew he would grow
so fast! And he has! He is now 7 months old, and so big! His height has been off the growth charts
since he was 2 months old, and since Addy was such a peanut when she was
little, it took me by surprise! He is
the sweetest, most easy going little guy.
He has the best smiles that just absolutely melt my heart! I think he is going to be just like his daddy
when he grows up (at least I sure hope so).
So when Hunter was about 5 months
old, we found out we were expecting baby number 3! We were totally shocked since we hadn’t
planned to have another child quite so soon.
I remember calling Ben at work (I was still pretty much in shock at that
point), and I just blurted it out. He
started laughing! He never missed a beat
and was instantly excited. I realized then how blessed we were and how
wonderful my husband truly is. It was
such an amazing blessing, especially considering what we had gone through to
have Addy and Hunter. It is really funny
to me now to meet people who see our pregnancy as a negative thing. I just can’t see it as anything but the
incredible blessing it is! MY God
doesn’t make mistakes. Yes, our baby was
planned. Our child was planned and
formed by the creator of the universe, and He just decided surprise us with
it this tie around! Yes, I am fully aware that I will
have my hands full, but my heart will be even fuller…and I can’t wait!
Motherhood has been the most
amazing and exhausting journey I have ever taken, and I am SO happy that I’ve been
able to share this experience with Ben.
I can’t imagine a better partner and a better daddy for my babies (and
if you haven’t noticed, we make BEAUTIFUL babies). We don’t get to sleep in much anymore, and we
can’t go eat at Steak and Shake late at night like we used to.
It takes lots of effort to arrange a date night, and sometimes I
literally count down the minutes until bedtime.
But now I get sloppy kisses and great big hugs and the sweetest smiles
and giggles that seem to come from their toes.
I get to spend my days reading the same books over and over and changing
diapers and making lunches and playing with play doh. I wouldn’t change it for anything! When I prayed for children, I never knew how much
different, how much fuller, my life would be.
Sometimes, I just sit and look at them and can’t believe how blessed I
really am. I can’t wait to see who they
will be when they grow up and what God has in store for them. God has blessed me to be a mommy, and I can’t
imagine a job I’d rather have.
